The dropper, continued

With that huge as a flashback, Turtle came in pushing his thoughts over. Whats up mate?, turtle blurted. Chimp was there too. Stop thinking so much chimp said. Right chimp, Now I've got to listen to you?
BigBass was there too laughing over some god forsaken movie. Forget it.
*flashback2*
2007 : with such horrific year. Topper sat alone in the classroom, wondering what the fuck was going on. 4th sem flew like a bug over the blue ray. Whatever.
Its was then that Topper was introduced to the teddy, and another female, the intellectual Tej.
Somehow, his brain connected with these two. Tej was sweet, so was teddy, sadly teddy was the brain eater. And when I say Eater, I really mean it. LOL.
It was sweet, in terms of how easily topper could empty his brains to em. And they lissened. Topper appreciated that. Dearly.
Found another good mate in Maddy. Maddy was crazy like him. Maddy was the best, and topper determined to help Maddy in engg. Maddy had already faced a lot of blows in his life. And maybe it was becoz of Maddy, Topper forgot his worries for a while. And began enjoying sometime in his 5th sem. He met the others, Han and Nak. Han was a big joke machine, one liners and timely jokes n all. Nak was an addition. 4 of em captured the 1st 2 benches. And had a ball of a time. Han and toppe went to gre class, Topper did like that part. The English female was such a princess. Another guy called Par was too a fan. the female was a charming princess, she'd posses Topper. But Topper knew where he was, and so let go of her whenever class ended. Lucky Topper, got to learn his lessons.
End of the sem, Han run out of luck with 5 subjects, allegedly coz of his "duties". Females can be pain sometimes. Han proved it. lol.
Maddy was left with 2 shit bags. I'll help him out, no matter what! Topper thought.
Sadly both Maddy and Topper were stuck on the same subject, females. His was a lil' more good. Although, he did admit it, Damn it hurts....!
2008-So continuing, the flashback, 07 pushed to 08 a lil' roughly. Maddy found a female , sadly only for a day. Depression had its way in. Topper was out, in the wild with his parents.
6th sem was in, Engg's greatest test. It took a toll.
Topper did grow up but he still something for the 'U'. She did look really beautiful.
females do have this purtical magic over topper. Topper fell again.
And in all the mess of studying, completing assignments, Topper saw her eating in class. And topper did the most stupidest thing he'd ever done. Gave up eating. Topper did it really hard and Faced it. Faint!, Bad faint and people rushing over him. Topper gave up the idea of not eating. Topper is still gaining weight...hah.

"Dropper over the Topper"

While Topper was up with what he'd done. Its the perfect time he felt. Time to go flashback mode.
Coz its the Dropper(the shit...:P) that he's reminded of.
*FlashBack*
2005 - Just tried to begin his day, topper felt, he'll never make it Engg. eventually been thrown to Pune. Not a worry, I'l manage it, he felt. Topper did'nt have a clue he's gonna land up somewhere near home.
But then fate has its turn. He's in a college, well nothing less than a school. I'll have to manage this one, Somehow!!.....the first week was a geeky time. Some ass bugger, borin subjects, and a new friendship forged over "gola". But the same would have made him say "hola" for the next 3 years.
What happened next is so faint, he got no clue.
And Insecure as he was, he made the same mistake. "fell face down".
Topper tried, BIG TIME. but topper had lost her permanently. And Topper hadnt learnt some important stuff. It was a big mistake. The rest is still history, no point remembering it.
2006 - Something that began over a mech problem, came in LimeLight (:D)
Some frizzly haired angel came to his saving. But topper dint care enuff. Sadly the year was the worst in his life. The White tigress, and the black chimp, his best mate. All was gonna turn, lil' did topper know.
Like they say, U'll have to fall again, to realize some mistakes. The tigress, what a beauty. But the chimp was smart ass. One mistake Topper was down and chimpy played a big rugby game on it. And now Topper was down again. Big Big Big blow. " I cant believe my best mate did that to me!" Turtle, another of toppers mates (The best one...:D) said "everything is fair in love and war"
The only thing fair for him was the tigress. Topper reminds himself on the roof, with the tigress on the call, He poured his heart out, the tigress thought he was a pervert. Every female thought he was so. No BIG deal.
eventually thrown out of balance and out of the game, topper was out again in the wild.
The third fall was the Dita, simply becoz he wanted to prove chimp something, eventually falling nose down again. That wasnt a surprise to either of his mates. The bass booster had a hell of a time laughing over topper's "NOVEL". Right laugh, BassMan.
Then came the season the frizzles. Topper was in love again. Lil' did he realize the Joker, who had a hell of a time. And with joker as a friend, topper thought of frizzles, all the time.
topper still remembers the chat session.
Joker: (with topper typing): I lurve you
Frizzles: I lurve you too!
thats what they call misunderstandings flying high!
And at home topper did what he does best Screw up. Some bad joke and frizzles calls him a Loser.
Topper is Fucked. Remind of the word Fucked. Fucked beyond relief.
with that happening, he thought, he found solace in another bunny, who well did break his heart. Hah!
Now You can see, its toppers worst year.
Who knew! he's already blaming his fate. With such a weak heart, He wanted to jump off a cliff. But he was weak, bigtime, parents and all relying on him. Topper stood up. And faced it all.
Every second, he'd face hatred, somewhere or the other, all his mates laughing over his life.
What can topper do. Laugh? , Moan?, accept?
Eventually topper found soalce in writing stuff down. which well was like fuel over fire. People did hate him, BIGTIME.
*--End of flashback1--*

New beginnings, old happeneings.

Whoa!! months before i did write something down.

The past three months have been entertaining indeed, "INDEED"
forging new friendships, breaking old enemities, forgiving and blaming the other I see. LOL
Well for one, she found a guy. I heard my mates say "Dropper Over a Topper"
"Dropper Over a topper" , sounds like shit on the toppers head. To each his own.
Well the topper did feel jealous, did get hurt...(same shit for the last 3 years...:P). But the Topper gave up the thought of her. Thats the sad part man. Topper is So pissed off with himself!

But topper learnt a lot he says. "This is'nt the age to fall in love. You're still a fuckin kid"
Yeah thanks mate. Im already so heart broken, You'd have to buy the Araldite factory to heal those wounds. Whoo!

And well 'frizzy' hair. What do i say?
Frizzy hair is so out of her hair (head i mean..:P).
Looks like the Joker had a bad hair day. Fuck!
Isn't the same shit happening here. The guy wants to win her back. And tried, but she gave up, JUST BECOZ, it'll be her mistake if had to be sorry again.
Well its the same story everywhere (mine too, wasn't forgiven mate..)
How can people be so stupid! got any clue about how badly it'll affect you?
How the hell can you expect everything to be so so so so so so perfect? Isnt that kiddish. why complicate something that is SO simple. And Your matured. Damn!!

Topper thinks he loves frizzly hair. But you know frizzly hair. Impossible as she is.
So topper ponders whats biting her. And Now the story gets bad.
Joker hates frizzly and frizzly still has some corner.
I can see the hurt.
And topper's pretty sure frizzly'll never love him.
And now topper tries a lot and fails again, and again.

Now topper is stuck. Not this, not that. Topper says "Im alone, no matter i have along my side. God made me a stupid fat nerd, and whatever you'll ever care about, well, will never be yours."

Thanx for the curse mate.....

And I find The lovely lolita, the dita, the babe (hah!~!), at a mall. And for the first time topper felt a anger, topper gave no shit, no regrets, just walked away. Thats right sweetheart. I dont deserve it, i will never.

When topper's learnt his lesson, Its permanent.

As somethings become obvious, think about what you've done. The world'll be a better place, if you try to be reasonable.

B.

mind bogglers

"where is my ray "

the woods came in sight,
set finding the light.
You pray you found some,
You trip, fall, cry alound.

And all you hear is that silence.
That numbing silence.
And yourself and your head growling in the silence.

there came the first thought.
should i do this,
should i take that,
and god knows what.

why is this silence so silent?
why dont you speak?
till when do i live muted?
where is my voice?

You almost give up.
You almost sob.
You drown..

but then it comes in from something.
the sweet music of life.
that dose
that tonic

And it hits you
you wonder where it was for such a long time.
you thank the silence,

"yes I found my ray of hope"

P.A.S.T.

"Its human to think of the past, and to worry about the future"

Questions to wonder on:

1. Can you define an human on his/her past?
2.Can you somehow erase a persons past?
3.Can you forget your past?
4.Can you forgive someone who's hurt you in your past?

I don't care about the questions. I don't care about the answers.

Its all simple isn't it?
why don't you learn from the past, than learning the past?

heard of a song from linkin park ...."Never move forward , so they'd never be a past..."

PAST = Poor Asshole sucks Time.
PAST sucked your time.
Why let the present suffer?
Why kill your future?

Screw the past, start again.

and you're hearing this from an idiot whos probably tired of starting again.
And again and again
and Again.
And now its so bad, Ive damned lost the charge on my battery.
but then, what am i supposed to do?
Sit and moan?
NAAH!

one question that i said above...can you erase your past?
You cant , you cant change it, you cant rewrite it.
But you can probably try and make people forget about it with your actions.
Remember, its not simple, its much more screwed up than trying to learn to skydive.
The key is your mind. Its a game mate, one huge game. Be strong fight your fear, fight your sadness.
How?
You answer me.

I found a solution. Try and remember what you learn from your past, and not what you past was. for eg, i got some things i remember from what I've been messing around with from my kidHOOD.

1. Never send Mean SMS's. Never hurt females with stupid SMS's.
Sms has more power than word of mouth. DAMN!
Actually this is what I remember of what happened 2 and a half years ago. Rest of it so blurry....
2. Never mess with friend and Girlfriend concept.
And never write a blog about your breakups.
3. Dont fall, let someone fall.
and if no one does, dont try and trip em.(im talking of fallin in love :P)
4. Study hard, help everyone, no matter how much it screws you up.
5. Learn to say NO
6. Lissen to music and learn something from it. Never show off bout what you know. Coz you'll forget it when you want it most.

and I'll keep posting em when i remember em.

keep em coming

peace

B.